Public is no longer public???

Ok so like last Saturday my uncle had a going away cook out for my cousin that was getting shipped out. I haven't seen my cousin or my uncle in a while and my husband actually had the day off so we went. We met my uncle at Indian steel park and he had asked me to save a table. I haven't been to that Park since my mom got married there, so i thought it was a first come first serve type of thing. I saw some benches under the ramada open so i go to save them, then i notice that the grills are all locked up. There is a paper on the table talking about reserving the Ramada, I calm the nunnery hoping someone would be kind and come open the grill. Of course no one answers then i see a park person driving around so I go ask since no one has reserved that Ramada if they can open the grill. The lady said that she couldn't open it to just anyone. That if we wanted to use the grill we have to reserve it and pay 25 dollars AN HOUR!!!!! I am sorry but to me that is crap.  Any who so i said ok and left and called my uncle, he said that was fine and he brought his own grill. So we set up abd start the grill,  we were just sitting at the benches and my tia is in a wheel chair so it was easy for her to be on the concrete. We are not even sitting there for 5 min when the lady comes up and tells us we can't even sit there!!!! Can you believe that!!! I told her so the public park isn't open to the public?  She said no that if we wanted to sit there we had to reserve it!!! So I said what happens if we don't move she said she would call the cops!!! I asked if we could sit in the grass abd she did no!!!! Ok by this point I am pissed!! We Ard native American and yet we can't use our own Park!!! So in the end we hag to move to the grass but i was pissed i wanted to push her into the lake!!! Since when is it that you can't go to a park and sit at the benches!?! Since when did a public Park become not open to the public??? I want to contact a tv news to see why the city of phx is doing this.  I know chandler doesn't lock down its grills or makes people move from a Ramada. Oh i am still pretty update about it because a public Park should be public and your shouldn't have to pay per hour! Especially if your native! I think that lady took her job to serious but it did leave a bad taste and i am not sure I'll ever wanna go back to that Park :(

With a greatful heart ♥♥♥

Today is Thanksgiving and I have a lot to be greatful for. First of all to God all mighty. No I am not that person that gives God thanks and then go commit sin. I am committed to God and He is a big part of my life. Without him I am nothing and I would have nothing. So Thank you God for everything you have done in my life and for my life.
     I am also thankful for my husband. We may not be the perfect couple or be the trophy coupe and we may not have alot but one thing I do know we have enough of is love. We are not big on the materialistic things and we both know that money can't buy happiness so my husband is home with us instead of working and working and working just to buy me things. He understand family time and my needyness hehe. God knew I needed a man like him in my life as an unsaved person God still worked in my life.
    My girls make me extremely greatful. I can't imagine my life without them!! They fill me with so much!! They make me smile and laugh,  they make me happy when I am sad, also they make me cry and feel frustrated.  Honestly without it all I wouldn't be the mom I am now. God knew I needed to love and showed me love. A childs love is sooo innocent and unconditional, just like Gods love is and that is how He loves each and everyone of us.
    I am grateful for my family.  My sisters and my mom, without them I would be really lonely. Yes just like all family members they drive you up the wall but when the day ends all you have left is family. I love them and I am sure they love me...I hope hehe. God put me in this family for a reason and again I am who I am because of my family.
  I am also greatful for my friends!!!! I don't just call anyone my friends because people nowadays are so hard to trust! But the people that I do call friends I know have my back no matter what. Some mae comfort me and sime tell me what I need to hear. ;) some friends I have had for a really really really really long time and some I have made within this year, and the ones I have are the best and I wouldn't trade them for anything!!! I have friends that people will say who would want to be friends with them and I proudly say I do and you better run for saying that cuz I am gonna beat you up!! Hehehe God knows who I need in my life and he brought me them!  Yes I am open to new friends to add to my circle ;)
  This thanksgiving God has truly blessed me and for that I am really greatful.  Give thanks to God plus it's not all about glits and glamor its about the small things ;)  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

Change

I titled this one change because a lot has changed in my family. You may not be able to see it but on the inside i know God is moving! I have been praying for my husband for God to mold him into the man of God He called my husband to be. I have to admit it wasn't happening at my church i felt like we were just left there to find our salvation on our own. *Ok I do have my sisters there and they look for me and I appreciate it all the way but its family and if they didn't look for me I would bother them hehe.*
        I have also been praying for friends!! A good one that I could go to and they would just be Godly advice even when i wasn't looking for it. Yes I thought i had one but she went and did me wrong and at a point i thought that all the ladies in the whole church was against me. I was ready to leave the church.
        Then it all changed. My husband and I went to a marriage retreat and the studies we learned were really tough lessons. As wel talked with other couples I would listen to my husband and it amazed me!! I could hear God moving in his heart!! I kept praying for God to bring men from our church to continue working with my husband.
         As I prayed for friends I was told by a lady that it takes a friend to be a friend and that was true! So I reached out to ladies and was friendly to them. I am so glad I did  that because now I have the most amazing friends!  Not only that but I  am learning to be a better friend to the ones I already have!!! So God really answered my prayer and brought me friends.  Yes the devil is trying to cause problems so that i may feel like I don't have friends or that I can't trust any of them. One thing i do know is what God makes strong the devil can't break so I am holding on to my friends. :)
       When we got back from the marriage retreat the couples were still in contact with my husband and I! There was This certain couple where the man followed up on my husband and studied the bible with my husband.  The wife would study with me as well. We never had anyone do that with us at our church.  I kinda felt like maybe because we don't belong to a certain group at church maybe thats why we are falling through the cracks. So I prayed about it and asked the Lord if I should say something.  So my husband did but I think the pastor didn't understand what he was saying.  So I continued to pray that God gives me what to say because I need it to not be emotional.  But I couldn't take it and i went to talk to the assistant pastor and he understood.  I am so glad God put it in my heart to say something! 
      Now I can honestly say that God is really moving in our lives!! And that I can not only see it in my husband but in myself as well!! God answers prayers, it may not be in your timing but it is all in Gods timing. :)
         

Halloween?!

So I just wanted to put it out there that yes I celebrate Halloween. No I don't make it about the scary or demonic stuff. Yes my kids know the meaning of Halloween *they go to a public school*. I teach them that we can still have fun without all the scary stuff or demonic stuff. They get to dress up and trick or treat.  I do decorate my house, now its not all scary with witches or demons. I decorate pumpkins and candcorn and maybe some cats. I go all out for Halloween and Christmas,  and trust me my kids know the true meaning of Christmas too. I don't celebrate the devil if i have a party on Halloween.  I make it fun for my kids and myself.  Its not my kids fault that there are stupid people out there and wanna make it more that what it is. To me and my family its a time to dress up *nothing scary or demonic* and get free candy. This year Ia prepared to have a house full of kids, I am gonna have a "party" games and food and trick or treating afterwards.  Now if that offends you then I am sorry don't try to make me feel bad cuz it won't work. I hope everyone has a safe Halloween and I love to see pictures of costumes as well as I will be taking some myself ;) HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

Marriage

So this past weekend had been about marriage. First we had the honor of attending a beautiful wedding.  Two people committed themselves before God and everyone that they will stay true to each other.  They have known each other for a long time and still they decided to stay pure. Not a lot of people can say that.  When pastor was marring them he said something that really stuck out to me.  That no matter what you go through you know you are able to come home and feel loved. That no matter what, he (your spouse) will always be there to love you. And it's true,  I may not have a billion friends but i do know that when my husband comes home I matter to him and I am loved. That marriage had a lot of love and will go far. The reception was beautiful.
             This past weekend my husband and I had the opportunity to attend a marriage retreat. I feel really blessed to be able to get away with my husband. It was really weird not knowing what to talk about with no kids but we managed. I learned so much! About how important our vows are not only to each other but the vows we made to God. Man!!! It really showed how important the vow with God is.  If you don't honor your vow with God it will be hard to honor your marriage vow. We did separate into groups and i learned so much as a wife. We studied from the book of Ester. There were many points. That even after your married to still look good for your husband. So that he may take pride in you and also take pride in the marriage.  To cry out to God for your marriage.  You can not fix it on your own. The closer you are to God the closer the two of you will be. That its important to respect your husband. (That's a personal hard one for me but I know God is helping me through it) once you respect him the marriage had respect. Also to have a caring heart.  God put you together to reach others. When you care for each other you'll care for others and bring them to Christ.
        So I do have to say my marriage isn't perfect but I do know that with God help my marriage will grow. I do have this to say to marriages that are out there trying to make it on their own. .. it's not possible!!!! Only God can help, if he is not the center of your marriage it won't work. If you try to fix it on your own and say I can fix this it won't work. Only God can. All this are posible through Christ.

Dedicated to my mom

Well this goes out to my mom ;). Well she has been staying with me for a while and i didn't mind (which is surprising ) hehe but she recently moved out and well now i feel like something is missing. I have to admit i wasn't the best daughter. We fought a lot growing up and as an adult i can't figure out why. Hehe. As a mother I look back and see what I put my mother through, I get scared because i have 4 daughters and one of them is bound to give me trouble. I am not proud of the fact that I put my mom through a lot,  no I didn't do drugs or drink or even got arrested. I got pregnant at a very young age.  I think getting into drugs or alcohol would have been easier to deal with than a teen pregnancy (which i try to hide). I brought into the world a child when I was just a child.  Yes I know i disappointed my mother but we made did and moved on. One thing I have to thank her for was that she did not once let me leave my kid with her as I went out with friends.  She taught me that my baby was my life, I was no longer a child and I have to live my life for my child and not for myself.  I only hope as I grow and raise my children I can become a song woman like her. She raised me on her own. Yes my dad became a dead beat dad (that's a different blog ). She remarried and list her husband. I have never seen my mother so happy when she was with mr. Larry.  But through all of that she stayed strong was pillar when I needed her. She didn't tell me to leave her alone or tell me to handle my own problems. She was there paying for me and telling me what i needed to hear, not sugar coating anything. For that I thank her!  As an adult, and a mother I know I owe my mom my life so I help her every way I can and not expect anything in return. I would hate myself if anything are to happen to my mom and I was able to do something to help or something. I hear people talk bad about their parents and I don't understand why. Now don't get me wrong there are a lot a lot a lot of bad moms out there and yes there I think there is a special place in hell for those moms who miss treat their kids or all of the above.  Good had entrusted us with his creation to not take care of them and live them as he lived us is just not right.  So mom Thank you for every fight we have had and every time you stood between me and what I wanted to do. I am the person I am partly because you showed me with your words and actions how to grow up and be the mom I am today. Thank you God for her and continue to keep her in your arms.  I love you mom and I will be there whenever you need me.

Father's

I have to say first that this may get really personal and this is from my life. I am sorry if it gets to real for anyone ( if anyone is reading). So I will start from the beginning,  my two oldest kids are not my husband and they don't share a dad.  I never received a dime in child support or anything from either dads. One of my daughter is 8 years old and never once have i got anything from him. Until recently like this year he got ahold of me and asked if he could write her. As the momma bear came out I wanted to yell at him and say no and tell him off for his sucky parenting skills. *when she was born he was into drugs and i told him to choose if he was Gonna clean up and be a dad if not leave. So he walked out that door. He would come back high ever note and then and we would fight and beat each other up. Sometimes even woke up to a gun in my face. The night the cops actually responded to my call they wanted to take me in. They didn't know he was high and tried to kill my daughter (she was only 4 months) the only reason they didn't was because I was breast feeding her. That night I realized this is not the environment i wanted to raise my kids in as well as I didn't want this life for myself anymore. So I pack us up and never looked back. *  So when he asked if he could contact her I wanted to say no more like a HELL NO!!! But as I thought more I realized that wasn't my choice to make. So I say her down and talked with her (hardest conversation ever!!) The most amazing part wad that she forgives him and was open to getting to know him!  She did ask why we broke up. I told her he would hurt me and I didn't like that so I left. She was upset but i think honesty is the best right now. I also explained to her about our daddy (my husband) still here for her no matter what and he will still love you no matter what. She said that he will be her dad no matter what!  (Broke my heart) so she wrote him back and he did not for like a good 4 months and she waited and waited and waited.  She finally got a letter from him today. She was really happy.  Ugh i was pissed. I contacted him and told him she's isn't some rag doll he can pick up whenever he feels like it and that he needs to step up and pay for her like a real dad. All he gave me was excuses!! Ugh i should have known!  I mean he thinks it's ok but it is not! I mean when do you realize your kid is the most important thing in life!  I have to put out there that my husband raised her! He took care of her through the good and the bad!  And this sperm donor wants to come in and start a relationship with her! Ugh it irritates me but what can i do but make sure she knows she is loved. I did let him know that he breaks her heart i will make sure he is never found again.  This momma bear means business. God trusted me with my kids and I am doing my best to keep them safe and away from the heart ache i been through.

Drinking????

So I went to pick up my husband yesterday from work and in the food city parking lot was the dui task mobile set up. There was a lot of cops out in my area which is a surprise cuz they are never in my area. Hehe. But it got me thinking about drinking. I just don't see the point in all that at all. I have to put out there that I used to drink and that I could hold my tequila too.  However I stopped when I met my husband. As I look back I can't find the fun in drinking.  I still ended up at home and had to go back to being a mom. I never got black out drunk which is good but I do know that the very next day my life had to go on. I do remeber once I went to work still drunk and come to find out I wasn't the only one!! It kinda sucked cuz I couldn't do my job right and couldn't focus.  Life continued right where I was before I started to drink. So when I hear or see people drinking their "problems" away I can't help but think thats pointless cuz they will still be there when the alcohol wears off. Also when I see people drinking with friends I can't help but think are your friends gonna be there for you when your sober or broke?  You know no one will be there when you get locked up for the stupidity you have done while drinking. Then there are parents who go drinking and thats all their lives are about and not about their kids. Then they spend one half sober and half drunk day with their kid and think they are the parent of the year and deserve an award!!!! So I chose not to drink anymore because I don't see the point in it at all! I still gonna come home to my kids and husband (which is good cuz sleeping around is a total different blog). So why waste my money when i can spend it with my kids or on me hehe. If you drink and think I am over reacting please tell me. I may not change my mind but I am open to good reasoning ;)

Getting back to me ;)

So I had my procedure done and I am on day 2 of healing.  I am not made out for the whole sitting around and doing nothing bid hehe. I am still in a little pain but it is bare able. The whole experience was not fun lol. I guess it has to do with the doctor. ... I don't even remeber her name.  She was almost an hour late and totally forgot about me!  To make matters worse she wrote a prescription and didn't even put how many pills or how much the dose!!! So good thing I don't remeber get name or I would be spreading the word about her!  Oh wait i already am lol.  But yeah now that i am home my husband had been taking care of me and I love it. I guess I am that person that likes things done my way. I am trying to fight that and let him do things and take charge ;). One thing I do know is my kids are getting away with a whole lot more with him in charge than me lol. It drives me nuts and I have to tell him to spank her don't let her get away with that but of course he doesn't.  But I love him and have to give him a chance cuz what man would step up and let his wife rest and take a break. ... I know of none!  I do have to say I am grateful for my friends and family who have prayed for me as well as helped me out.  I am super greatful ;)  let's hope I am back to myself tomorrow and get this ship back into control ;)

Getting it done

Well as i sit here and relax with my family eating watermelon. ... I think about tomorrow and what's gonna happen.  I am getting my tubes tied Tomorrow I am looking forward to not having any more kids and to finish raising my kids. On the other hand I have never had any surgery before in my life or i have never been put under before. ... ever!  So I am kinda getting nervous but it's too late to cancel now. I have heard both good and bad about getting it done as well as being told not to do it. ... what a lot of people don't know is that I got pregnant on the depo shot. So I am that one percent. ... I don't life to be that 1 % so both my husband and I are getting done. I have a friend who her husband got done and a year later she still got pregnant.  :0 hehe so I am not gonna take any chances hehe.  One the other end I have friends that are telling me that i am going to end up pregnant before i get the procedure done. ... to them I try and stay away so they can't wipe their baby germs on me hehehe.  I did want a big family and have a lot of kids but raising two babies *10 months apart* is what made me change my mind. ..as well as having one income is tough too. My youngest is a terror hehe and I say that with love. She climbs on everything and isn't afraid to do anything.  I say my oldest of the two is the brains and the little one is the muscle hehehe.  I have the rest of my patience to raise her but to start all over again I am not sure if I can. Sooo I am going through with it tomorrow and not gonna change my mind later. I am almost 30 and 30 was my cut off date anyways.  I can't eat nothing in the morning so I am gonna be starving!!!!! I will post what I been through so stay close lol good night and keep me in your prayers. ;)

my thoughts

Hello! So yesterday i went to my friend bridal shower it was through my church so it was fun and clean ;) I made the cake which was a corset cake. It came out really good and everyone liked it. She got a lot of dishes and cooking stuff.... my sister and i got her some cute little underwear and cute little nighty but that was it!  I don't know if I didn't get the memo not to bring that stuff. But i hope she wears them ;)
But my Monday was fun i got to spend it watching my nephews and my tio and tia came to visit :) i love my tio and tia with all my heart i hardly get to see them because they live far from me but I do try to go visit them. Anywho I had fun with them visiting and my nephews always love to come over and watch movies.  Whenever I buy movies i keep them in mind. ..i know that sound dumb but hey i gotta stay hip with new movies as well as the Tía that has cool movies hehe. We got rain yesterday and it was awesome!  I live in a desert so we hardly get rain. Well i have another eventful day today so i hope i am not to tired to write about it tonight ;)

9-8-13

My name is Rebekah and I am a mother and a wife. This is my first time blogging and i am not sure what to put hehe.  I am doing this from my mobile so again this is new hehe. So a little about me is I have 4 kids of my own as well as 2 step children. I love to do crafts sew make candles and bake cakes hehe.  I have a full week ahead of me, well when do i not have a full week ;) my kids keep me busy and i do cakes for people so that keeps me busy too. I just got involved in my church haunted house so i am excited about that. Yes i am a Christian i am also human. I don't claim to be perfect and i can't judge no one because I am not God. I do give advice or let ya know what your doing is wrong and it will lead you to hell. Also I am very very very very opinionated I say what i wanna say it to whoever needs to hear it. I do it with a hint of respect as well. This generation is so emotional so what i say seem to offend people. But I think that people needs to hear things (myself included) but other people are too afraid to say it. ... well i am not that person.  ;)  So here is the warning right now. .... I may say something that offends you if i do keep it to yourself I'll forget or just not care. No i am not mean. ... well yes it sounds mean but if i say something that is offensive it's not gonna run my day or my life i will keep going so yeah keep it to yourself ;) well enough about that ummm to conclude I am excited to start blogging and post things as well as pictures of crafts I do or any mischief my kids get me into hehe. So if anyone is reading or following Please feel free to comment or enjoy ;) good night ;)