Father's

I have to say first that this may get really personal and this is from my life. I am sorry if it gets to real for anyone ( if anyone is reading). So I will start from the beginning,  my two oldest kids are not my husband and they don't share a dad.  I never received a dime in child support or anything from either dads. One of my daughter is 8 years old and never once have i got anything from him. Until recently like this year he got ahold of me and asked if he could write her. As the momma bear came out I wanted to yell at him and say no and tell him off for his sucky parenting skills. *when she was born he was into drugs and i told him to choose if he was Gonna clean up and be a dad if not leave. So he walked out that door. He would come back high ever note and then and we would fight and beat each other up. Sometimes even woke up to a gun in my face. The night the cops actually responded to my call they wanted to take me in. They didn't know he was high and tried to kill my daughter (she was only 4 months) the only reason they didn't was because I was breast feeding her. That night I realized this is not the environment i wanted to raise my kids in as well as I didn't want this life for myself anymore. So I pack us up and never looked back. *  So when he asked if he could contact her I wanted to say no more like a HELL NO!!! But as I thought more I realized that wasn't my choice to make. So I say her down and talked with her (hardest conversation ever!!) The most amazing part wad that she forgives him and was open to getting to know him!  She did ask why we broke up. I told her he would hurt me and I didn't like that so I left. She was upset but i think honesty is the best right now. I also explained to her about our daddy (my husband) still here for her no matter what and he will still love you no matter what. She said that he will be her dad no matter what!  (Broke my heart) so she wrote him back and he did not for like a good 4 months and she waited and waited and waited.  She finally got a letter from him today. She was really happy.  Ugh i was pissed. I contacted him and told him she's isn't some rag doll he can pick up whenever he feels like it and that he needs to step up and pay for her like a real dad. All he gave me was excuses!! Ugh i should have known!  I mean he thinks it's ok but it is not! I mean when do you realize your kid is the most important thing in life!  I have to put out there that my husband raised her! He took care of her through the good and the bad!  And this sperm donor wants to come in and start a relationship with her! Ugh it irritates me but what can i do but make sure she knows she is loved. I did let him know that he breaks her heart i will make sure he is never found again.  This momma bear means business. God trusted me with my kids and I am doing my best to keep them safe and away from the heart ache i been through.