Tell it like it is

So there is one thing I can't seem to understand about people these days. I was brought up to take responsibility for the things we do or to own up to what we did. I know I am not the only one that was taught that growing up, so what I don't get is when it comes to the things we say people don't own up to it or think they have to lie about what they say?  I can say from my personal experience that that was the hardest issue I dealt with. I used to lie all the time, but once I got saved and became a mom I saw my words have an effect. That's when I chose with the help of God I started to watch what I say and own up to what I say. I have lost many friends because of that. On the flip side of that I ask people if is true if they did say that and they boldly life to my face!  I am trying not to start fights or cause problems but the way I look at it is how do I know I did something wrong if you won't tell me.  I want to correct myself and become a better person but how do I do that if no one tells me what I did wrong?
         Now I have learned that there is a way to go about asking or even telling someone something. Yes there is a lot of people in this world that can't handle being told anything and to be honest I avoid those people, because they are not willing to learn and grow. There have been many times where I have been told my tone was very rude or even disrespectful, what those people don't know is I am not saying what is really on my mind. That was a side note. Hehe but I think as humans and Christian people we should learn to grow. If someone said something that bothers us we should go and talk about it, learn from it,  and move on. If we see people going down a path that only leads to destruction and we can help them let's use our word and help. If we are that person that is going down that path let's be open to direction. Let's view things from other point of view. I always ask why did they. ... what caused that. ... what can I learn. If we did this there would be a lot less division in the church as well as gossip in the church.  We are there to help each other grow in the Lord, not think that just because we are further along in our walk with God than others we are better than them. God's uses everyone.