step parent or real parent

So most people know I am not only a mom but a step mom as well. My family is blended and when my husband started to date he told me straight up he had kids. Now 4 years married and 7 years together I have grown to love and bond with his children. In all honesty I can't imagine us without them. I say a little of my background so when I say what I want to say people know where I am coming from.
. I have been noticing that ladies get with men and even married, knowing they have kids from other women. So I don't know how to say this nice but I don't understand how they can be with a person knowing that their husband\wife has other children, and not encourage them to take care of or even go see their child\children. I make sure my husband has paid his child support every pay check, and he does it willingly the court or government has to force him pay for his children. I don't understand how are you not wanting your partner to be a father to his\her children. If they are not taking care of their kids with someone else what makes you think they will take care of kids with you? When it cones to Christian people not taking care of their children really blows my mind. Your in ministry being an example, people look up to you, but yet you can't pay child support or even go see your kids? How can a spouse stand by your side knowing that you are not taking care of your child? Oh and if your that person that discourages a relationship with the child just because of the "ex" you better be ashamed of yourself!!!! The child came before you and should come before you in your spouces life and if you don't like it then dont marry someone that already has children.
So as a parent\step parent I have to say it shouldn't make a difference. Love your spouces children like your own.God trusted you with that responsibility, not anyone else but you. And to Christians who dont take responsibility for their children I hope you don't sit in church like your perfect because I know God can deliver you from that dead beat syndrome,and you step up and provide for your children.