I see it now

I have to start a month ago. I have been praying to God to mold me and shape me into a woman of God that He can use. I also prayed to bring me a friend that can teach me and lead me in the right direction. I prayed that before and felt no difference and so I just gave up. The people that were brought into my life were sent out to reach other people, so I felt left there unfinished so to speak. A pastor came from Russia and preached and really touched my heart. I saw that I have become hardened to everything. I wasn't allowing myself to be venerable and allowing God to speak into my life. I repented and I started to pray and plead with all my heart for someone to come into my life to lead me and show me and speak to me. From then on I have a new friend I can say has helped me grow in God. I thank God for her everyday. She has spoke into my life and there was a point where I didn't want to hear it or anything. I wanted to quit but I felt like God say don't pray to be molded if you won't allow yourself to be molded. So I sucked it up and prayed for strength. Then our church conference came, and I have to be honest that I get really discouraged because it seems to always preach about getting sent out to preach. This time I made up my mind this year was gonna be different, and it was!!!! I was touched in more than one way!!!! The whole week was soo good!!!! First was about serving a God of second chances, as a Christian failure isn't an option. Because God is a forgiving father that no matter your past you will always have a future with God! Man the whole week just stirred my whole soul!! I saw it clear that I want to go out and let people know about my God!! I know as I settled in my heart that I will make a stand for God, my family and I, the devil is going to aim right for us. I know God will protect us and give us the strength we need. Serving him isn't in vain. Yesterday i made up my mind we are going street preaching even if its just me. My whole family went and they loved it!! I actually got to hear my husband testify. *that's a whole other blog* but i was brought to tears because I saw what God is doing in my family!! My girls loved it!!! They even wanted to preach!! I can say i see it now. How bland my life was when all i did was go to church on Sundays and Wednesday. I see what they mean when they say they always want to be at church.
now dont get me wrong in no way am I saying I am perfect or that I think I am better than anyone because that is not what I am saying. I am human I will make mistakes and knowing me I will probably say something that will offend or upset or even get some people very angry. Sometimes I'll be sorry and most times I won't. I am gonna try my best not to do that but being a Christian is all about growing making mistakes and being forgiven. And no I am not that person that is all fake, I just can't be like that ever lol. I am me 100% and I have God working in me to make me a better me :) so if I do something to upset you or anything feel free to let me know,after all that's how we grow and learn from our mistakes :) with God all things are possible!!!