Jealous or to much

      So Sunday night the pastor preached to the husbands. He hit a lot of good points on how a man is supposed to treat his wife. Also how to be a leader of the family and what path your gonna lead your family down also how to raise up a man. That none of it is not possible without God.
       The pastor talked about the husband being jealous. He said that there was a point to where it was overbearing. On the other end to not even care. So that got me thinking.  Is my husband the jealous type?  I have never heard my husband ask who I was talking to or who I am going out with or even tell me not to wear a certain thing.
        I talked with my husband when we got home and I asked him why doesn't he get jealous?  I feel like maybe I am not attractive to where he doesn't have to worry about other men wanting to talk to me or even look at me. So when I asked him his answer was simple he isn't the jealous type. He was in a previous marriage and he said he was never jealous then either. He says he just needs to be the best he can be and not worry. Most of all he just isn't the jealous type. I had asked him if I were to talk to other guys would that bother him and he said Nope, so then I asked what if I went to hang out with a guy friend would that bother him and again his response was no.
      I know there are ladies out here that if thier husband gave them that kind of freedom they would abuse it and they would cheat. I know in my heart I can't do that. I have a guy friend I grew up with that we talk and I tell my husband everything we talk about. My husband says I don't have to tell him but I feel guilty when I don't. I don't even delete the messages so my husband knows I am not lying. I know my husband doesn't get jealous and sometimes that bothers me.
         Sometimes a little bit of "Hey don't look at my wife like that" or " Hey watch it man that's my wife" kinda feels good every now and then.  To me it shows he actually cares about me. I may be weird and the only one that says that but it's true I don't know, maybe because I have low confidence I want something to boost my confidence.
      Now don't get me wrong there are guys of the that take jealous to a whole new level. They don't know when to quit. Now I don't want that I have had my share of bad abusive relationship and I don't need all that in my life. So for those that might say something about that type of jealousy, I am not talking about that extreme.
         Is there not a in between jealousy?  Between not being jealous and being way to overly jealous? If not then I will definitely take the not being jealous any day. I know my limits and I won't cross them, I will not take advantage of my husband. Some people say men and women can't be friends and I say if you can't control yourself and keep your boundaries then yes don't tempt yourself. I,  personally,  can control myself, and I know when to say no *not that I let it even get that far*. I respect my marriage and I won't take advantage of my husband. The moment he tells me to not talk to a guy I will do it that simple. *that was for those who always have something smart to say*
    So I would like a little jealousy just so I know he cares but not to much where it's cray cray jealousy. 
   
     

A mother's prayer

As mother's day passes I can not help but think of each and every one of my children. Yes I have 4 girls none was planned but it doesn't change the fact that I love each one of them.  I also have 2 step children that I have love for them we don't get to see them as much as we like but I know that is going to change very soon. So in total I have 6 children that I love and I see each one of then as an individual and they have thier individual needs.
The oldest of the 6 is my step son Jace. He is my husband son and you can tell. They look so much a like and he has his dad's intelligence. Every time we see him I notice he needs his dad as he grows, I know a boy needs his dad as he grows to support him, encourage him,  lead him, and teach him.  It breaks my heart that we do not get them add much as we like but when we are together I encourage communication with dad. I make sure he knows dad lives him,  thinks about him, and loves him with all his heart.
         Second oldest is faith.  She is my mini me. So emotional, so easily hurt, and so friendly.  I was only 17 when I got pregnant with her but I finished high school as a single mom. As I went to school I felt like I wasn't doing my best for my child. I knew that my life is no longer mine. She was my world, she loved me back without asking for anything. I wanted someone to love me so much that when I saw her I knew she was going to love me and I was gonna love her. Till this day she loves me, she is so brave, she is smart and caring. She already gets drama at school but she knows that God will get her through anything.  She knows that if she prays God is listening to her. She tells me every night ,after I pray for her, she beloved in God because He answered her prayers.
       Next is my step daughter Madison. She is 3 months younger than faith, isn't God awesome to plan that. Oh madi loves her sisters!  When I first met my step children I was so scared they would reject me and my girls, but they were both loving. Madi is so happy to have sisters. She writes to my girls and tells them everything. She finally had someone to go shopping with, someone to play with, someone that doesn't want to do boy games. I do notice she to needs her dad. She needs someone to tell her she means the world to him, to hold her, to tell her she is beautiful. I know once we are closer she will blossom because she will have her daddy with her.
          The 4th is annalisa, she is the one that came out of a horrible horrible horrible relationship and has the most loving heart, most beautiful look on life, and the most forgiving person.  She cares about everyone. She tells kids at get school about God and how much he loves them. She always wants to give money to the offering to children church for the missions. She is always asking to sing songs about God. Whenever she talks about talents she says God blessed me with. ... She saw the play this passed Saturday about the rapture and it convicted her. She was crying her eyes out because she didn't want to be left behind. Then after church we are getting home and she asks me if we are going with her in the rapture and says she is afraid that faith won't go with us. It broke my heart, here she is caring about her sister and not herself. She believes she is sinning because she didn't tell enough people about God. Or she wasn't kind or giving enough that day.  I have learned a lot from her she has encouraged me to go out for God.
     My last 2 are Gabby and Zoe. They are the babies of the family they see everything.  They are constantly asking for Madi and Jace, asking when will faith and anna get back from school. They walk around the house singing songs from children's church and they even play children church with my nephew ben. I know I have a lot to teach them. To show them how to grow as children of God. To follow the path God has for them.
     As a mother I look at my children, these kids look up to me, they watch everything I do or say. How am I gonna teach them, what path am I going to lead them down? Do give them the jacked up childhood or teen years that I had. A split up home, in and out of endless relationships?  No I have promised God these children will follow Gods path. These children will know Gods love. I have learned that children don't do as you say they do as you do. So therefore I will be an example to my children. I will show them when times get hard we turn and pray to God, when times are good we turn and pray to God. My prayer is for each and every one of my children ,Yes all 6, will grow in the Lord, they will go out and be the light in this ugly world. I pray that if God willing my children will go win the rez for God and many other people.  I love all my children I will never change any of them. So this past mother day, I feel so loved even if I had to yell and spank and run after my kids I wouldn't change it gor the world. When I was pregnant with my last baby *they are 10 months apart* I was so down a friend told me God doesn't give you what you can't handle. Till this day I know it to be true because these kids get to me and I feel like I cant do this ,but I know God is always there for me.