Is it really worth it?

So lately a lot of people that I know and close too are leaving the church. Every reason is different but none of them are justified at all.  I can understand both the reason to leave and the reason why you should stay. Me, personally, I stay because I need God in my life. I have tried to live my life without him and do things in my own and in all honesty I can not do it without Him. Sure the rules of the church suck and yes they only enforce it when it is convenient to them, but that is not the reason I go at all.  Some people need those rules because they don't know self control or they don't know how to do be responsible for their actions. Even they care to much of how high they get on the church ladder. In the end when you die or when the rapture comes, only you are in front of God. Not you and the rules of the church, not you and the pastor, or not even the excuses why you left church will help you. God looks at your heart. He looks at how you lived you life, what you did with what you learned at church. Not what rules you kept, or which pastor you were under. Trust me there are plenty of reasons why I don't want to be there. The way people look down on me because I don't go to every outreach or because I am not part of the "future pastors wife of America" Club. But you know I am not there for them. I have issues and the only way I can get better is by listening to Gods word and fixing what is in my heart. No amount of outreach or women's clean up is gonna change me only God's good word is. So I say to all those that need a "break" from church. ... cut your crap!!! God isn't taking a break from you!  He didn't leave you because of the rules you "broke" and He sees right through all those people that are fake in ministry. God wants you the way you are.  It is a battle every time I go to church because the devil tells me "no one wants you there" or "why go everyone there is fake" "why go all those people are all talking about you" "you don't need to be there no one is looking for you anyways". And every time I hear that I remeber all the crap God took me out of and continues to save me from. I know without God my life would be a whole lot worse. So I go. I am me 100% I don't need to be fake for anything or anyone. I am who I am at home at church and on Facebook.  So friends don't give in and leave the church because if what was done by man. Go to church because you know that without God your life, your marriage, your children will not survive this cruel world. Go back to Gods open arms he is waiting for you to come back as you are not as the church wants you to be.  No you don't have to go to a fellowship church go where you feel God, go where you will get fed by God's Word, go where you can worship God and be who you are. As for me I will continue to go to church and I will continue to be me, the person God made me. Oh and a whole lot of people may not like that and I could careless. I am not there for them or to become likw them I am there for God to become a better me in God.

A mother's letter

So lately I have been noticing a lot about men. No this bit a men bashing blog lol. But I did start to think like a mom and as a girlmyself and I started to think about what my girls are going to go through and I figured I would write then a letter.  When I was 18 and heart broken I wrote a letter to my oldest daughter, of course I threw it away a long time ago because it got really man bashing lol. But I do want my girls to know things about what life and men are going to put them through. Well not only my daughters but all daughters in general. So here is goes.

         Dear daughter of mine, 
                 I want you to know first and for most I will always love you and will always be there for you. I want you to feel free to come talk to me about anything, no matter what it may be I will there to help, be the shoulder to cry on, or even just an ear to let you vent to. As a girl there is so much we go through and as mother and daughter we can go through it together. I will take care of you as you grow. From your first day of school to your last. I don't want you to ever think you are alone, because your not. The world may tell you that your all alone that no one will understand what your going through but know that I do.  When your emotions start to go crazy know that I have been there and sometimes all it does take is some chocolate to make everything better.  There will start a time in your life where boys will start to like you more than just a friend.  In that I have advice, but first of all know that no guy will ever live you add much as your dad and I. I heard it in a movie once that the girl says "the only man a girl can depend on is her daddy" in our family that is true. Daddy will always be there to defend your honor no matter how old you get. Now there are going to be boys out there that will hurt you and make you cry. Don't worry we all go through it in our lives. Every single one of us. Now I may want to bust his face in, I know that your heart breaking will only make you stronger and ready for someone true that is ready to help you fix that heart of yours. A real man that will make you smile more than cry. Trust me he exists ;). One thing I learned is that you can never mend a broken heart by going back to the person that breaks it. So please daughter of mine don't go back. Also there will be men out there that all they know how to treat a lady is with violence and disrespect.  I don't ever want to see you hit or disrespected because I will go to jail :). There is no reason a man should put his hands on you at all. I have been there and I stayed because I always thought I deserved it. By Gods good grace we were taken out of that situation because I know we would be dead today.  There is absolutely no reason a man will need to put his hands on you in an angry or violent way.  Please daughter don't do it. Also don't settle for just anyone. Your future husband will do everything to sweep you off your feet and will not stop to do so. Also don't let men use you as a sex object. There are some men or there that only want 1 thing from you, but that needs to be saved for 1 man and that is your husband.  They will be sneaky, they will say all the right things and wine and dine you just to get in your pants. A real man will wait to put a ring on your finger before he even talks like that to you. I am saying this from the heat because I didn't wait and I love your dad so much I wish I did, but then I wouldn't have you so I am glad to have you.  Again please wait till your married, I don't ever want you to have to raise a child on your own. I have and it's hard. Now I know there are people that will tell you about divorce and cheating husband. But I want you to believe that you only get married once.  No matter what happens in life always know that I have raised you in a Godly manner. You may want to go your own path but know in God is where your path should be.  Believe in God and He will bring you a man that we respect you, love you and cherish you for the rest of your life. Now there will be times where you will think I am the worst mother in the world but I want you to know I do this to protect you. I have seen and done things in my life that I will recognize it in a heart beat and I will nip that in the bud.  I love you with all my heart and my only prayer is you grow up strong, not afraid to speak your mind, not easily manipulated, and to have a strong relationship with God.  Your salvation is going to be between you and God I can not live your Christianity for you. Also you can not live by my convictions but by your own. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise know that your relationship with God is between you and Him. Last, don't every be fake, or someone your not. Always be true to yourself.  God made you who you are and you don't need to be anything different. There will be plenty of fake people in the world but what makes this world a better place is the people that are true to themselves.  You are my daughter and add everyone knows I am not fake, I don't have to put a show for anyone, I don't sugar coat anything for anyone because the world isn't sugar coated. If I am lucky you'll be like me and much more.

                 Love always,
                      Your mom