Living differently

Well it's been a while since I blogged...a long while hehe Well a lot has happened. My family and I have moved to the Navajo Nation reservation. My father in law passed in December and he had land and animals that needed to be taken care of. So my husband and I talked things through, and weighed out everything and we came to a decision to move our family there. So we packed all our stuffed and moved at the end of February.
    It was a huge change for my family.  I know that the decision didn't go over to well with my sisters, but I have to follow my husband there was no other option.  My girls and I left behind everything and everyone we know. I was born and raised in phx so I was leaving my home.  I was super scared of this change.  Yes I did cry my eyes out when no one was around. But face to face I put on a brave face and smiled through it all. Yes I still get sad and get so lonely and home sick. But I keep myself busy and just try not to let anyone see what I am going through.
   When we first got here we had no running water.  It had snowed that month before abs the pipes froze so we had to wait 2 weeks for someone to come and fix it.  One thing I learned on the rez is when someone says they are coming. ...it will probably be in 5 hours or not till tomorrow. So we made do tho. I didn't hear my kids complain not once!  They were so happy when we got here. They played outside till the sun went down. To this day they love being here. Yes they miss thier friends and cousins but I asked them if they want to move back and they said no.
   It snowed a couple time when we first moved here and yes we have never seen it snow before lol so we were all out barefoot in the snow lol. The weather here is nice.  We were still wearing jackets in the morning in MAY!!! We were all surprised!  Even now in the summer we enjoy the 90 degrees lol I am kinda scared for winter lol I don't think we are ready hehe.
     Where we live nothing is close. We are 15 min from the highway. From the highway to town is another 20 min hehe.  The school is 20 min in the opposite direction haha.  So I enjoy driving now hehe.  The road that leads to our place is all dirt! Sooo when it rains it gets really bad.  Now I have been told that and being from az where we got little to no rain...so I kinda was like yeah ok sure lol. HOWEVER it rained and it sucked!!!! First time it rained my car fish-tailed it all the way home lol then the second time I had to go looking for our sheep and ended up full of mud and slipping in the mud. I was so mad at my sheep lol the mud here is like clay it doesn't get like normal mud...it sticks to each other and to you.  So when it rains I am stuck home. I can only imagine when it snows hehe. 
  We love being out here and we enjoy the views of nature and the peacefulness of everything. It's so calm and no noise, no traffic, no speed limits lol no noisy neighbors and no crime. We enjoy it and no matter what happens or what we go through we have each other.  The saying goes "home is where your family is" and it's true!  Doesn't matter where we are as long as I have my husband and my kids, and my kids are happy that's all that matters to me.
          So good night from New Mexico and I'll post more soon.

New parenting called co-parenting

Hello!! So I don't know if you guys know but I am a step mom. So all together with my husband we have 6 kids all together. But growing up my dad left my mother and remarried another woman. Now my parents divorce was bad and rough all around. I heard my mom being mad at my dad. On the flip side I have had my dad leave me stranded, plan things and not show up. I have also heard the lady he was with bad mouth my mom. So it wasn't a pretty picture at all. I always looked at this situation and always promised myself I would never do that cuz as a child that have gone through that, it was horrible. It really tainted my view on life. So I always felt like no child ever have to go through that. At least if I have a way to stop it I would. Which explains why I want to become a social worker.
            So I grew up had kids and got married...in that order lol. But yeah I became a step mom to 2 beautiful children. I know some detail of my husband divorce but not to much because it is in the past and we should leave it in the past. I have reached out to the ex to let her know I am here to help not cause any problems, also to let her know I am here to stay I won't let her kids down. I guess it was tough on her at that time because she rejected me. At that time I didn't know what I was doing and I was upset why she didn't accept me.
             My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 9 years and now her and I are at a point where she can trust me and my husband. I saw on instagram where parents use their kids to get back at thier ex's. Or that they punish the kids to hurt the ex. That really hurt me to think that there are people that actually use thier kids to get back to their ex's or to hurt the ex. They are only being the kids and raising a generation that will grow up with a tainted view on life and grow up with a chip on thier shoulders. On the flip side I saw a group on instagram a group on co-parenting. Where the ex's together with thier other spouses raise their kids together.
          I am all for the whole co-parenting!! I don't want my step kids to worry about not being able to talk to their mom around me. I want to be able to have a peaceful relationship with thier mom where she knows if she can't make it to a game or do a certain project I will be there to help. That we can work together as a team to raise these kids to know that even tho thier parents split up they are still looking out what's best for them no matter what. So for my family this is soooo weird to see a birthday party where the ex comes and celebrates as well. All we know is the bad side of a divorce. I grew up knowing the bad, so this whole co-parenting is new to me but with the help of my husband I am determined to help raise the kids. In the end its all about making these kids life better. To raise these kids with a positive view on life. That no matter what life brings you, you can do it with a good view on life.

Teachers

Hello!! I am back!! Well I started working since October of last year. I work as a para educator at a school. Not the school my kids go to but in the same school district. The last time I worked as a teacher I wasn't married. So when my first day of school it felt so weird to hear myself being called by my married name. On the flip side before I was married I always wanted to be called Mrs. Nez lol. So anyways back to my job. I work with all grade from kinder to 6th. I don't have one particular student I work with all day u have many students I work with all day. I do enjoy what I do very much. I work closely with the special ed teacher of both lower grades and higher grades. I see how the teachers treat these teachers and myself. As well as I see how they act in the lunch room and I have to say it's not very pretty.
      First of all I have a request to all teachers out there PLEASE TREAT YOUR SPECIAL ED TEACHERS WITH MORE RESPECT. They are teachers just like you. Except they take that extra time to help the student understand what they are learning. I totally understand that teachers are supper busy. I myself have wanted to become a teacher so I understand the job. Being on this side of the job I see that special ed teachers work a whole lot harder than normal teachers. They have to battle with the attitudes and the behavior issues. Normal teachers can ignore it and call someone else to come handle that student or focus on the other kids in the classroom. But for special ed teachers who do they call? They are the calvary. So I noticed that when my teacher calls to have her students come for group sessions the teachers give her attitude. They respond as if her time don't matter. Then the kids pick up on that and start to not respond to her after all the hard work she put into these kids. So just a word to teachers, special ed teachers are doing work so that is not hard for you. Work together on geeking the student be the best they can be.  Your petty attitudes effect the student, how they learn. If they see that your not into wanting them to understand what they are learning, they won't want to learn.
     Now about lunch time.  So I go sit in the teacher lounge to go eat my lunch. I notice that all these teachers sit in cliques. So of corse me being new I sit alone cuz I don't fit into any cliques. Can you believe it!! I don't fit into any cliques. Who would have thought lol. So me being the nice person I am. ...I go sit in all the chairs.  :) oh my goodness they get so upset!  They acted like if I just banged up thier car!! They even stop talking when I walk in. So I don't get why they have to act like.  So I try and talk to all new people that come in. I am even good friends with the custodians in the school and the cafeteria workers.  So whenever I need anything they help me right away. With the teachers I hear on the walkie talkie saying they will get to it soon.  I can't help but smile.  Now at my girls school all the teachers talk to me even the new ones. Even the one that didn't like me at first! So I don't get why two different schools with two different types of teachers. 
   I like my job and I have grown attached to the kids I work with.  I get along with everyone I work with even if they don't really like me, I smile and wave to all of them.  I make the best of everyday even if the kids misbehave and are rude to me. I just wanted to take the time and say what I have noticed going on at the school as well as give a word of advice to all the teachers out there and all the people who wanna be teachers.  Take a minute and get to know everyone and be nice to your special ed teachers. They deal with a lot more than you think.

Different

Ok so it's been a while since I blogged. I started working recently. I been at this job for like 3 weeks. I work at a school, no not my girls school. Sucks but my hours are good to be able to take my girls to school and be home with them in the evening.
   So I have noticed the school I work at is way different than the school my girls go to. One obvious difference is that the kids don't wear uniforms. Another big difference is that my girls school the vast majority of kids are of the Hispanic or black ethnicity. The school I work at majority white kids. It was kind of funny one day I had 2 kids get hurt on the playground so I sent them to the nurse. A little girl came up and asked what these kids looked like. I did not wanna answer that question. First of all I am new I don't know all the kids news, second of all these kids all look the same to me! So when she asked me who I sent to the nurse I said 2 boys, she asked what did they look like, I said ummm boys. She kept asking what they looked like so I said white boys I don't know who, then she goes was one paler than the other....I paused ummm they both were white what was the difference. She kept asking questions. I had to tell her honestly I don't know!! She finally just ran away. It tickled me tho her questions. Maybe it was a good thing they didn't wear uniform cuz then I really wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Lol
        But one major thing I have noticed with these kids are that they lie like no bodies business.  I am not used to kids lieing like that and even to the teachers faces. I had playground duty and someone lost a jacket so I figured I would ask who's it was. THEY ALL LIED TO ME!!! All of them said different names. I could understand group of boys trying to be cool but the whole dang grade level gathered around me and all LIED!!! I couldn't believe it. Another instance I asked a student a question about handwriting and he answered me but when I asked him in front of his teacher he lied. He even tried to con me into doing his work for him! I couldn't believe it!
    First of all I have done many volunteer hours at my girls school. I have spent many hours with all the kids there. Not once did I get treated like that. My girls have been at this same school about 6 years!! I have asked students about belongings that were left out on the playground or on the bus and not once did a student lie to me or mutiple students lie to me. Instead I got multiple students helping me find who it belonged to, or even helping me take it to the principal to find who it belonged to. Also if they didn't understand the homework or classwork I didn't any coning into doing for them instead I heard the students ask for help or asking to stay for tutoring.
       I talked with a teacher I work with and she said oh yeah that's how they are here. I talked to the principal  and music teacher at my girls school and it was amazing what is built into this school. The music teacher told me "oh yeah we are the best because here we are family. Here we care for each other and we instill in the students characteristics that they need to be a successful adult not just education." The principal even said "yes we do a lot for the students and family and we actually really care for our families." I wanted to cry because my girls are really blessed here at this school. I haven't heard of bullying and if there is the teachers and the principal gather together and put a stop to it. Even when I talk to others about our school I always get that our school is the best in the district. People have taken thier kids out of school and the next year they come back saying that the school they went to was no where as good as our school.
    In the end one thing I have learned is not all school are the same. Yes they are all a place of education but not all have principals and teachers that actually care for thier students and families. No public or private school can have what is instilled in our students. It takes many caring people to build that, to instill it into our students. So I totally recommend our school to those that their kids are having a really hard time in school cuz I know they will make time to make your student feel welcome.  To any future teachers or teachers please care for your students like if they were your own. Your making an impact in someone's life what kind of impression do you want to leave?

Not an expert on relationships

I was watching Divas this evening. For this of you that don't notice it's about the WWE wrestling girls, they are called divas lol. But anywho so there is this one lady on there who her marriage *to another professional guy wrestler* isn't quite working out. To the point where he tells her that whenever she is around she make his mood depressed and that once they go through the curtain it's all an act. So needless to say they don't talk, or even live together. She ends up having issues with her dad and talked with him to help her dad out. He does but then he leaves her afterwards. But before he leaves he hugs her and tells her he loves her. That's where I have to come in.
    I don't get why men do that. Yes not only men but  women too.  They leave walk out of your life, end things and want to break up or no longer want to be with you and want a divorce. But yet every now and then they come around in your life flirt with you, tell you your beautiful, or help you out with things which gives you a little pinch of hope that maybe they really want to work things out with you. When you ask can we work this out or ask if there is hope for you two they tell you no or I don't know. I mean come on!!! They are just playing with you and your emotions!! They want to see if they still have ahold on you either that or that want to keep you close. Oh but not to close where they want you back but to the point where you don't move on either. Where they don't want you but they don't want anyone else to have you either.
    Now don't get me wrong I am no expert on relationships but I have had my share of them. I did those things that I mentioned. No I am not proud of that at all and yes as I grew up I learned BIG TIME! But I also know where I am not wanted in a relationship as well. I will not mess around with someone's emotion. I know people will say easy for me to speak I am married. But honestly if my husband wants to leave he can *but it better be a darn good reason too or till death do us part* I know all the signs of a relationship that is doomed and a relationship that is worth fighting for. I try and give advice from what I been through and what I have done, and how I have used people. I don't just talk out of my butt but I talk from experience.  So when I see people doing that to others and these people are close to me I have to say hey look I know the tricks cuz I have done them, get out now there is nothing left in that relationship. I have been in the position as well where I wanted a relationship to stay together so bad I would do anything but in reality there was nothing good left. I want you to understand that won't be your last relationship and that won't be your only relationship.  You don't have to stay and be miserable, you can get out and be woth someone that is worth fighting for or that will fight for you. Don't think that life ends when your relationship ends it's making you a better person for the next better relationship that's coming to you. If I thought that way I would be dead because I would have stayed in an adusive relationship. I would have the husband, kids and life I have now. So just because one bad relationship ends doesn't mean that's the end it means a better one is on the way. And if that person walks out of your life let them leave. If that person says over and over they are done and want nothing to do with you tell them bye and let them go. Someone better is waiting for you. Your never stuck and you never know what's in your future if your to busy holding on to the past. Or your to busy holding on to something that is broken and not fixable.

Getting older

Well I just turned 30. I am not really sure how to feel about that honestly. I asked around how a 30 year old person is supposed to act lol and well they couldn't really tell me. I still feel the same and I still feel young. I don't know if I dwelt on it to long but I started to freak out. I started to think I didn't get to live my life. Like go party and do things people my age are doing. I wanted to go out and party and go get drunk and I guess "live my life" but I stopped and looked at my life now. I realized in my 30 years of life I have many accomplishments.
I have 4 beautiful children that love me unconditionally, they brighten my day and when I cry they are there to sit and hug me and cry with me.
I have a husband that words can't describe. He loves me and accepted children as his own and we had 2 together. He doesn't try and control my life, he doesn't try to change me, and he doesn't mind when I have my emotional break downs.
I also became a step mom. I accepted my husband's children as my own as well. So yes that makes it a total of 6 children. It's not easy being a step mom, when all you know is bad experiences of a step mom. I learned to also teach them and help them grow. I also learned to work together as a blended family. It's hard to do especially with 6 kids.
At 30 I can stay home and raise my children and help them grow and be home for my husband.
We have traveled to Mexico, to New Mexico, California, Colorado and Tucson. I can say my life is full of adventures, and lots of travel.
I can also so I have the best friends anyone can ask for. I sometimes get sad because I don't have a billion friends but then I remember I may not have many friends but I do have a select few that I can honestly say they are there for me no matter what. Sure it's less than 10 but it's not the number that matters it's the loyalty.
So sure I didn't go out and party in my 20s. Sure by 21 I already had 2 kids and I never got to "live my life", but I do have a fulfilled life. I have plenty of things I have accomplished and I have plenty of people in my life that will have my back no matter what. My life is full of love and lots of laughter and to be honest I wouldn't give that up for anything. No clubbing, no alcohol, and no meaningless friendships. I am happy where I am at in my life, I now look forward to many more adventures and many more friendships to come as I get older. Oh and no I will not stop coloring my hair either. 😆😆😊😊 here is to being 30!! 30 is the new 20!!

Still learning but not in school

Ok so my daughter picked out this book for me to read titled "5 conversations you must have with your daughter" I only read two chapters and I am already learning and have to "use" it lol.
        So the first chapter talked about what beauty means to society and the pressure it puts on young girls growing up.  That according to social media girls have a very unrealistic standard of beauty. From the 1800s to the 1900s girls views of beauty were very different. One thing that struck me was that the author quoted a verse from the book of Samuel saying the Lord doesn't see things like man, where man only looks on the outside where God looks on the inside.  Also that in the 1800s skinny girls were considered unhealthy or even sick and now today's society, movies, adds, and TV shows are telling our girls that the skinnier the prettier. Chapter 2 talked about girls being late bloomers compare to early bloomers. That girls who develop early than their friends have a higher chance of being self conscious. Chapter 2 also talked about dieting and eating disorders.  Also to avoid that is to remind your daughter she is beautiful the way she is constantly tell her she is beautiful. As mothers we have to watch out what we say about our own bodies in front of them. To make your home more about nutrition instead of weight loss. And most important never teas your daughter about her weight. At a young age is hard to understand the nick names. The book mentioned cellulite. That cellulite happen to everyone skinny or fat. That cellulite is not related to being fat and that drinking water and dieting and exercising have no effect on getting rid of it or even preventing it. Lol
      So it made me think a lot that my daughters are growing up in a world where dressing sexy and showing  yourself. So the next morning as my oldest got ready for school. (Thank God she wears uniforms) I noticed her skirt was a little short and it was cold outside so I told her to put on tights under. She gave me big attitude and had a long face as we pulled out in the car. I was thinking how what to say, should I yell at her, should I make her wear pants from now on. I didn't know what to do. So I asked her why she didn't want to wear the tights she gave me attitude of course. So I just told her she is beautiful she doesn't have to dress like all the other girls to get attention. Her attitude changed,she did start to cry but understood what I was telling her. I let her know that she has a beautiful face as well as a beautiful heart and that was rare. That some girls have a beautiful face but a ugly heart so they have to dress a certain way to get attention.  But not get that Good had a person for her that will love and respect her. That God sees you on the inside and that's all that matters.  By then we had gown to get school and she had a completely different attitude. Now she gets ready on hey own and when I see her she is dressed right and even wearing tights.  I can't believe my daughter is growing up. I do plan on continue reading the book and for sure use it on my girls.
       As parents we have to tell our girls they are beautiful and teach them how to be modest. Because if we don't tell them they will fall for any guy that comes and tells them that they are beautiful and sexy.  Let's teach them sexy isn't priority, that they don't have to show off their body. What's in your heart is what's important. Let's be there for our girls and not encourage that they don't have to go dating just because their friends are. But also to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter. Encourage coming to you and not lieing, let them know that they can come to you for anything. Even tho it might get us mad whatever they tell us but we have to remember to not push them away because there is a jerk out there ready with arms own to get their claws into your girls.